Saturday, February 28, 2015

At First Sight



I watched you like a play in a field of strawberries.
I imagined you were telling my life story to an audience
full of strangers; and I, too afraid to have a seat.
So, I studied you from afar and resorted to
reading lips as if I had gone deaf.  






for OLN @dversepoets

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34 comments:

Brian Miller said...

dang. i am wondering at the separation, and the unease, even as they told a story that could be yours....almost through the glass darkly....

Mary said...

Ah, sometimes it is good to only try to read lips, I think. That way one can read what one wants to into the message!

Heaven said...

I could actually read lips, smiles ~

My first impression is of fear of one's story to be told to others ~ Short but sharp Anthony ~

Grace

Marina Sofia said...

Certainly wouldn't want to hear how others describe me - fear? modesty? not sure. Sounds almost like an out of body experience!

Claudia said...

so you're in love?
smiles
love the images.. and the emotions they carry...

KB said...

Anthony, I understand what you aree saying but with such a short piece it could be much more powerful if you lost using similes and just slid into metaphor such as at the end where you could just imply you are deaf by leaving it at reading lips--or why does the person need to like a field of strawberries and not be a field of strawberries. I think that would go a long way to making it a much more powerful poem. For myself I try to use like and and as sparingly so that when I need to use them I can and they have an impact. >KB

Gabriella said...

I like the way you convey apprehension and then distance in this poem. Yet I also detect some kind of attraction.

Ginny Brannan said...

Sometimes the shortest poems are the most powerful! I met my husband on a blind date introduced by a mutual friend. My friend was a talker, between her and the noisy pub we were in, I spent much of the night reading lips, reading expressions. No "field of strawberries," yet this took me back to that moment. Maybe not love at first meeting, but definitely by the second! Thanks for taking me back to that moment.

Björn Rudberg said...

To me that sight from afar sometimes can be the strongest of attraction, sometimes we need that distance and lip-reading to see perfection (imagined or real)

Anna Chamberlain said...

There's a quality to your poetry that always makes me stand at attention and listen as if my life depends on it.

Wolfsrosebud said...

this was cool... loved the opening line... funny how we can interpret body language and never really no what is going on because we've never asked... so much thought in those few lines

Nara Malone said...

I see this like reading a critique...I want to know what they think, how they view what I created, but I'm afraid to know. Loved this.

Beachanny said...

I felt the suspense, I heard your heart-beat. There is an anxiety in this that is palpable. Well written!

hyperCRYPTICal said...

Beautifully done. I wonder if you are in love too...
Anna :o]

Delaina said...

Fantastic poem and kept me at the edge of my seat. Well spun!

whenspaceissilence said...

I feel the distance and the strong connection between the two persons in the poem. It makes me want to fill in a story in between the lines. Nicely written!

dkirkstokes said...

I like this a lot. A scene from a movie came to mind.

Susan said...

Mmm. There is a bit of hesitation before a story is enjoined ... experience teaches us the pause, then the lip reading with eyes and then with fingers, etc . . .

grapeling said...

really well done - that sense of trepidity anchored in self-questioning ~

vivinfrance said...

Lip-reading can result in hilarious misunderstandings. Your life story is your own - let no-one tell it but you.

zongrik said...

made me think of Bush (read my lips) and the Beatles (strawberry fileds).

in state, faithful lying

lucychili said...


i can imagine reading lips

Kate Mia said...

The longing of the heart.. to make that first connection from afar.. so close.. so far.. so close.. at war.. love.. fading in..fading out.. every inch.. is love.. where hearts come close.. to move close to connect is possible.. when longing comes short.. and love is one.. never separated afar.. alone.. again..:)

Prajakta said...

Reading lips... at times the only thing left to do. Powerful piece Anthony!

annell said...

that is where I want to play...and I also want to read lips...when there is nothing left to say.

angieinspired said...

Love the pulling back of the camera lens here. I would pay to see you watch this play.

Myrna R. said...

Nice glimpse of what goes on at first sight - a little fear of being known, speechless admiration, then silent observation. Then maybe love?

Truedessa said...

I found myself wanting to know the story. I have felt that way in life as if he was singing my life with his words.

my heart's love songs said...

word perfect! not one syllable to spare (including the "like" and "as" which i find quite effective ~ not everything needs to be a metaphor.}

your poetry always insists that i pay attention to every word. Love this!

Outlawyer said...

Such an interesting way to connect with your life story--thanks, Anthony. k. (Manicddaily)

Rosemary Nissen-Wade said...

Most intriguing!

the bystander said...

Everyone of us has same stories of life to tell in the world though each of us play a different role in different realities. The mutual connection between you & your subject is quite intense. I enjoyed it!

- ksm

mishunderstood said...

The first line was very luring for me. The apprehension leaves you wondering...I like that. :)

Sharp Little Pencil said...

Anthony, so glad to see you at OLN, and Brian's last! A beautifully constructed poem, a good mix of imagery and intrigue. Lovely. Amy