I've never been so close to losing you. I started having flashbacks
of what was to come: twenty-four-years old, drowning in blood, light
as water with pink dye, floating like an Easter egg filled with memories
far from pastel. I'm almost scared to keep you close; maybe a little
distance will soften the blow when that day actually comes... I don't
think I'll make it. Maybe that's selfish... but, I'm an only child
with a love for being alone that's strong as a magnet in the pit
of my stomach, pulling morphine down my throat; saliva
would be enough as liquor makes me vomit. And the last thing I need
is a come up on everything that gets me down. Your heart is weak
and I haven't been the same since I got that phone call and you told me
it was beating at twenty percent. It was then, that all those
moments were I “stayed strong” seemed like a joke and I was
only fooling myself. I believed holding back tears and bottling
my emotions meant I had strength, but I wasn't strong at all.
I was trying to fit a wall over my soft flesh, but you broke the mold
and I couldn't keep myself together.
It's been awhile... This is for the 5th anniversary of my poetic home,
@dVersePoets. I love you guys so much.