Monday, December 2, 2013

Obedience.


I wish I knew where I stood with you but instead you keep
breaking me down and breaking me down and breaking me down
and here I am... clueless... too scared to listen to my own gut
rebuilding myself and picking up the pieces of my nervous system
as I stutter my way through another "everything is gonna be alright"
obsequious ride or die bitch for my god (my man) or
rather be alone with just a rosary that doesn't actually belong to me 
bringing me back full circle clutching what so badly
wants to slip through my fingers


Amen...


©2013 Anthony Desmond Scott. All Rights Reserved.



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21 comments:

Brian Miller said...

obsequious...had to look that up...everyone lives in submission to someone you know..nice closure on this...interesting the power we give them to break us down even in our struggle to believe....

Wolfsrosebud said...

... so felt the struggle here. sometimes we are just so inside the pain there's no place to go

emmett wheatfall said...

Sweet! The way you string the reader along barely breaking stride from one thought to another is indescribably fulfilling. The circular return is subtle and not contrived. The flow is a smooth as a boat ride on a calm sea. I love the change up in form, it works well and brings an air of freshness to your writing. Another fine piece my friend. Your poetry keeps me hungry for more.

Kathryn said...

Powerful piece and I love the circular aspect.

Mary said...

Anthony, this is one strong write. I do think that it is natural to want to know where you stand with someone....but sometime it is also difficult to listen to what we are told! And so often things do seem to slip through our fingers that we wish wouldn't!

Björn said...

Strong piece.. the imagery of the rosary slipping through the fingers... what a metaphor..

Margaret said...

ditto of what Bjorn says. Powerfully written - and received.

M. J. Joachim said...

Positively gut-wrenching! And yet, there is light in the darkness.

Claudia said...

i think there are two kinds of submission...one is healthy because we see the need and think it's good for us in the long haul...one is not so good and destroys us in the end... fine write anthony....and...wooohooo... happy birthday.... blessings and hugs your way!!

Eric (Bubba) Alder said...

I guess if you've gotta be somebody's bitch in life, God would be the best of choices. Tight writing, Anthony!

ayala said...

Listening to your voice I can hear the pain. A powerful poem !

scribblingink said...

Such a powerful piece, your struggles shine through your words, eloquently written and vivid imagery.

Write Now, aka MAry McDonough-Clark said...

I've clutched a rosary a time or two myself, in the dark, asking many of the same questions. Keep asking, keep asking, keep being you.

grapeling said...

appreciate your reading of this piece, too, especially the 'stutter' line. ~

madhumakhi said...

This poem deserves many more comments. I think it's always difficult for us to let go of something bad because good memories were associated with it. I think you should let that rosary slip between your fingers and find a better one.

Gabriella said...

Very palpable expression of pain and wondering that is made stronger by the repetition of 'breaking me down' at the beginning. Very powerful piece!

rumoursofrhyme said...

You've captured the essence of the struggle of belief - in either God or another person; the power we give them over us conflicts with our desire to be completely autonomous.

Tony

Ronald Shields said...

I can feel the pain and confusion that comes from a shaken faith in someone important to you. The rosary is a wonderful metaphor.

Brian Miller said...

i hear you man...i was much the same story growing up...i was small and an easy target and did not know how to stick up for myself..i had a dad but he did not know what to do with me...my teens are a similar story as well...i made myself scary to push back...i cant stand to see kids pick on anyone...and i wont be silent..

Pealogic said...

Simply moving.

mrs mediocrity said...

oh my, this is so powerful, (i have been in that place) and that ending that single word "amen" took it to a whole new level. fabulous.