A landscape was created with every word
I spoke;
you're like a canvas begging for
another stroke.
And like a sign from heaven I hear your
hum;
so, in meditation for the wolves, my
bones they broke.
Not a holler in my heart for it beats
to your drum.
I hope you maintain faith in me, or my
flaws I will become.
The goddess of my kingdom, royalty is
what you bleed;
even the trees love the taste of your
breath and then some.
The call of your name fulfills my every
need;
forever together when I plant my seed.
You're the reason I awaken from my
nightmare;
like a dove symbolizing peace, I am
freed.
My dreams are woven with your hair;
sleep becomes a necessity only when
you're there.
Of all the possibilities we could
share,
I just want my dreams woven with your
hair.
Written in the rhyme scheme of AABA-BBCB-CCDC-DDDD for MTB
25 comments:
nice...there is a cool undertone of love in this...sexuality...but a desire that is deeper than the sex...the last stanza rides this home for me...and its got a nice hip hop/saul williams feel to it...
Beautifully sensual and sensitive writing with strong imagery, Anthony. I really like 'you're like a canvas begging for another stroke.'
What a beautiful love poem, the erotic and sensual imagery is so strong as well as the sense of fulfillment in that love that I sense is almost like a savior.. I also like the beat in the lines.. a great sense of music in your words here Anthony.
nice intimacy in this... love the dreams interwoven with her hair and the trees loving the taste of her breath... very cool...
and cool new blog look as well - i like
Forever & always, as we struggle to cope, to give of ourselves, to strain our emotions through our individual filters, we create /love like no other/; bang on, brother--& damn, there is music in your lines, making me tap my leg as I read it aloud; & I, too, like the line /even the trees love the taste of your breath/-- as we love the taste of theirs.
Love the variation of the last stanza's first line in the last of the poem. I sense this is for your mother and what a tribute to her, what an explication of your intrinsic ties. This is deeper though because it explores more than emotion, it also explores the sense of realization that you have walked through. A very deep poem and revelatory.
I love that you chose to write in form. I think with one like this you can continue your modern approach and learn something that African Americans have brought to the states, one of the great gifts their storytelling in rhyme. I encourage you to use this again and also to try working in blues triad verses. There is a lot of repetition in blues choruses. Check out how Langston Hughes applied these and then find your own variations! I have a feeling your likely to find a new song in your heart when you do this.
I believe this is my first time to read a form poetry from you and it flows beautifully Anthony ~ I love this part and that refraining last line on the last stanza:
My dreams are woven with your hair;
You should write more of these kind of poems ~
"dreams woven with your hair"... I can smell that. Beautiful.
Not a holler in my heart for it beats to your drum... how sweet is this
Lovely write - love is indeed a wondrous joyous thing.
Anna :o]
This is a great love poem, Anthony. I like how you use art, painting and music to give rhythm to your words. Well-done!
Like how you varied Frost's format of the last stanza and echoed the 1st line with the last instead of repeating the 3rd line
I love the opening lines - great hook! You executed the form really well.
you just made me smiled unexpectedly, Brian. How interesting u can be when it comes to words.
a song to love ...
"......sleep becomes a necessity only when you're there...." This is deep, it carries volume. Lovely write-up. Please write me one, lolx.
Beautifully loving. That last stamza just sings to me.
This is beautiful Anthony. You have a perfect mix of sensuality and sensuality all wrapped in love. Your words are so lovely.
Beautiful.
Thanks for coming by.
My dreams are woven with your hair -- so dope. So very dope.
I love the natural rhythm to this poem.
"..or my flaws I will become" strikes me as to how important this person you love is to you..lovely word in lovely form.
Wow!! so beautiful filled with love.
Lots of very fine images and love lines!
Nice
My favorite line - 'I hope you maintain faith in me, or my flaws I will become.' I think this is so true of many of us .. loved the flow, and the emotions portrayed so well in your words.
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