Tuesday, May 13, 2014

Beer and Cigarettes on his Breath

I remember the times when
I envisioned your face
And it was like looking in a mirror
So in my own reflection
I'd see leech marks left by
All the mistakes you made.

Do you know how fuckin' hard it is
To look like someone whose funeral
You wouldn't even attend? I did
But that was the night before
And so many days of having to
Look for myself in people I
Saw on TV to gain some sort
Of foundation to build the man
I wanted to be.

The last time we were
Face to face, I realized our
Undeniable similarities
Are only skin deep
And without hesitation
The fog was wiped
From the mirror
And I didn't see

you.


©2014 Anthony Desmond Scott. All Rights Reserved.





*1) Who are you and whom do you love?
2) What else are you, that no one has seen before?
3) Describe a morning you woke without fear.
4) What lingers when all is said and done? Dig deep with Marina Sofia at d'Verse - Poetics 
I picked #3* 

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33 comments:

Björn Rudberg said...

This is really inspired writing Anthony,, To look upon yourself and realize.. that this is guy I wouldn't even visit a funeral for..So glad that you got to rebuild yourself.. I get some vibes from Dorian Gray in this.. hmm maybe my fantasy takes me elsewhere.

Marina Sofia said...

This seems to me to be a fight against genetics, realising that you are more than your parents, than your background, than your upbringing, or your past mistakes.Can be read in multiple ways, but ultimately this is hopeful and uplifting.

Sumana Roy said...

love the reflective lines that close with convictions...

Brian Miller said...

whew...a little bit of introspection here for sure anthony...i was def thinking of fighting against seeing your dad in the mirror...esp depending on the relationship with dad....its a struggle between being your own man...and being a pale reflection of them....

Mary said...

This seems to be a poem who understands his roots & who has risen above them. Appearance similarities are only skin deep & no measure of who a person IS inside.

Kate Mia said...

Well..this one i can certainly relate to..and Friday before Mother's day i made a similar post associated with my father..who left when i am three..

i never wanted to be the cold person he was..but eventually it happened to me..but now thank goodness i have the loving person i once was as my mother back...

There is give and take in life..i suppose on these things..and the hardest thing i think for a boy can be is to live without a father..whether physically as such..or in emotional distance..particularly in a country like ours that can be extremely patriarchal in some places like mine...where i live...

Anyway your words certainly touched my heart in empathy as such..enjoyed reading them...:)

mrs mediocrity said...

This is so powerful... and growing into a man you can look in the eye when you stand before the mirror, that's what matters most, I think. This is great writing.

Grace said...

I like how you are rediscovering yourself & affirming what you want to be, outside of family or father figure ~ The use of mirror, seeing what we want to see or not, is very effective ~

Very honest response Anthony ~

Claudia said...

beer and cigarettes on his breath... that reminded me of my father... he was drinking and i kinda never was able to grow roots... probably that makes me so restless nowadays... it's tough sometimes but without roots it's easier to fly... smiles

Laurie Kolp said...

Love the ending, Anthony.

ayala said...

Very powerful and I feel you.

Kathryn said...

Wow, this is such a strong write. Powerful stuff.

freyawrites.com said...

Yes, I get this. Damned powerful stuff. This exercise has left me feeling quite raw.

charliezero1 said...

Deep, Strong, and very inspiring words Anthony.

I love your poem here breath-taking. :)

I am back! and ready to blog to the world. :)

Debi Swim said...

The fog was wiped
From the mirror
And I didn't see


you... a great way to end because it makes one continue to think.


Abhra Pal said...

That is an incredible insight Anthony - a very powerful write. Very real and gives such a great insight.

mishunderstood said...

Intense. Powerful. Real. Raw. These are the words that come to mind besides "Wow!"

Glenn Buttkus said...

You are a genetic offspring, but that is like saying the color of a car constitutes its worth, its value, its workings; but how cool to see that you are still becoming your own man. I never knew my father. I see my grandfather in my mirror, & I rejoice when I greet him in wrinkle gray hair, & wise looks. Excellent poem, brother; loved it; stung me like a bitch, & I read it twice.

liv2write2day said...

So many hold memories of disappointments related to those who should have cared for them...yet there is so much strength in recognizing that you are your own person. Well expressed, Anthony.

Linda M said...

Strong & courageous, evocative piece. I love the part about building oneself. Great closing lines.

bwfiction said...

I agree this was strong - we are each decision we make.

Sherry Blue Sky said...

Fantastic, and powerful and I cheered at the end where "I didnt see you". Yay!

Madhura said...

A strong way to realize your identity.. and the similarities that you find only skin-deep.. an inspired write...

Lasha M said...

that is a wonderful realization

John Thomas Dodds said...

Tough poem Anthony - tugs at mind - a face you have to shave every morning is one you need to learn to love - otherwise....

Arathi Harihar said...

when one sees beyond reflection is where one finds oneself....:)

scotthastiepoet said...

Hiya Anthony, for me probably one of the most challenging and original responses to Marina's prompt - a great read.. Thank you With Best Wishes Scott

Gabriella said...

Very strong and honest words, Anthony! It is a relief to see that you now manage to see beyond the resemblance and find your true self.

C.C. said...

This is powerful....feels like the outcome of some deep, raw soul-searching! It gave me chills.

Rosemary Nissen-Wade said...

Powerful stuff!

grapeling said...

stark, honest, clear-sighted, and refreshingly unapologetic ~

Ostensible Truth said...

ah this is a powerful write, raw and unforgiving in both its content and style - yet also brilliantly resolute and considered.

And do I spy a Frank Stanford picture to the left? Freedom, Revolt, and Love is one of my favourite poems.

Anthony Desmond said...

Thank you... and yes! awesome to see another poet around here who's familiar with his work.